Coaches: Are You Out of Integrity?

Truth in advertising… I have had many more months in the red than I had in the black over the last five years of building my businesses. I’ve had vehicles repossessed, had my electricity turned off, tearfully begged my landlord to please not evict me because where would I go with 30 goats, 7 donkeys, a sassy llama and a blind horse. I surrendered many of my dreams and rebuilt from scratch many times.

I have taken part time jobs, I have edited essays and traded coaching for services and borrowed from my family to keep the lights on and the bellies full around here. I had a trusted coach and friend tell me that I simply am not a coach and should just stop deluding myself. She told me my role in the world was to serve, to cook and to clean up after people (like her and her boyfriend), yet she stayed in my home and received breakthrough after breakthrough based on… you guessed it, my coaching and encouragement. I plunged into doubt and fear and uncertainty so deeply and wrestled so hard that I thought I would never emerge.

I have not quit. I’m here doing the thing and I’m killing it. Most of the time I’m killing it.

Why am I sharing this?

Integrity. Hope. Responsibility. Leading from where I am? All of these.

I worked in ethics and compliance for 9 years, teaching corporate employees the world over how to do the right thing in their day to day business dealings.

Doing the right thing always looks like standing on your values, being in integrity and offering hope by accepting responsibility for your life.

Taking a look around the different industries I’m in today and there’s a shitload of noise in our newsfeeds…

Do this one thing to have a six figure year by December 31 2020, even though it’s December 4, 2020
Call them out to show them how broken they are so they have to hire you to help them fix their brokenness
Give them this guide or that blueprint to show them everything they’re NOT doing in their businesses but put *just* enough info in there to make them gather up their credit cards and max ‘em all out to hire you on the spot
Tell them to take a PayPal Credit or a personal loan because unless they go broke hiring you they’re not serious about their transformation
Boast about your latest five figure month, trip to the spa, romp around the world, Chanel bag, but call your friends to ask for help making your next car payment because you don’t track your income from month to month and you overspent

Stop.

Quit.

Knock it off.

Show your highlight reel, by all means. But being high vibe, being real and raw, it’s not just a post labeled “Disclaimer - Vulnerable Post”... it’s not just a throwback to that one month you made 18K in your business, or the 70K sales day that really was just the sum of the sales calls you had that day if they all signed with you… it’s not real. It’s not vulnerable. It’s not raw. It’s manipulative.

Doing the right thing is showing all the sides of the thing. The sleepless nights. The months you had to work overtime at your job to make your rent payment. The days you don’t get to do a damn thing in your business except think about all the things you need to be doing while you’re trying to balance all the things. The moments where you read a post by someone who did a discovery call with you six months ago and the call was complete fire and now she’s doing the things you recommended on your free call and giving credit to the coach she hired instead of you.

Doing the right thing is showing up as all of you. Unapologetically. Doing the right thing is showing up because you’re a leader and leaders have a responsibility to tell the truth. Doing the right thing is the only way to make a lasting impact and play the role you are being asked to play in the world.

Doing the right thing starts with you. It starts in your own life, it starts in your messaging and it starts in facing your own gremlins. It starts with letting your inner CEO take the wheel. It starts with operating as the most fully embodied version of yourself. Do the right thing. Be honest with yourself and let that honesty cascade into everything else.

Here’s what will happen.

It’s going to be uncomfortable at first. People will question you. People will block you, drop you, feel threatened by you. People will tell you to go f*ck yourself. They’ll call you names. They’ll be jealous. They’ll come around, or not. But nothing will ever be the same. And it’s glorious.

The ones who are meant to work with you? They’ll start dropping into your inbox from nowhere. They’ll break down your door to spend time with you. They’ll leave each interaction grinning from ear to ear, high on life and endorphins and uplifted by your energy. They’ll swear you changed their lives… and you’ll smile knowingly and gently correct them that they did it all themselves… because they got honest with themselves. You just encouraged them by showing them what it looked like. I know this because this is happening to me EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

You can build your business your way. You don’t need to make promises you can’t keep. Inflate. Hide. Obscure. Disclaim. Exaggerate. You are worthy right now. You are worthy as is. You already know what to do. And if you need some guidance on the way, if you need help unbridling that inner CEO that is already lurking in your core… find *your* guide. Find the right tools and the right support to help you go from dabbling and hustling to focused and flowing. Not just because of the promised results and the fancy blueprint and the shiny photos. Find the one who shows you the way to the path you already have within… with integrity.